No Takesies Backsies

Flicking through some old note pads and found the start of this written down. Can't say I remember writing it, or why, but it is unmistakably the block letter scrawl that I call my hand writing. Anyway, it amused me so I thought I'd try and finish it off, or at least add to it.

Not sure it's really worth truly finishing.....

No Takesies Backsies

Can you return a schooner of beer?

I wanted an ale that was cold,

In a glass that was clear.

But the barman said,

“We don’t take returns round here.”

Why, oh why can’t I return my beer?

Can you return a pair of jocks?

I wanted some tight round my bum,

And not too snug on my cock.

But the manager said,

“We don’t take those back in stock.”

Why, oh why can’t I return my jocks?

Can you return a soiled tissue?

I wanted one to wipe up my jizz,

Without any issue.

But the shop keep said,

“Refunds are not something we eschew.”

Why, oh why can’t I return my tissue?

Can you return a dirty sex toy?

I wanted one warm and squishy,

That was made for a (play) boy.

But the lady said,

“We don’t go in for the refunding ploy.”

Why, oh why can’t I refund my sex toy?

Can you return a set of implants?

I wanted something to extend,

Accentuate, and enhance.

But the surgeon said,

“Extractions aren’t something we’re willing to chance.”

Why, oh why can’t I return my implants?


Bonus verse available on application.