Life's A Beach

Life’s a Beach

When the summers at its peak,

And really turning on the heat,

You gotta get yourself on down,

To a place just off Holman Street.

Catch a ferry if you like,

Past all the tourists and the wanks,

That flock to the piss filled pools.

Known as ‘the Beach’ at South Bank.

Down the back o’ Cap’n Burke park.

In the shade of the Story Bridge.

A true slice of God’s Country,

Called Kangaroo Point Beach

The city’s best kept secret,

Is only revealed twice a day.

Those few precious hours,

When the tide has rolled away.

Fantastic for catching some rays,

Or if you’re keen for a swim,*

Just don your lolly bags,

And dive right on in.

Bring a rod, or bring a reel,

Wet a line for what it’s worth.**

Go on and try your luck.

Maybe you’ll land a Brown Snake Perch.

Remember to watch for stray balls,

That come flying down from the park.

And if you are getting wet,

Just try and dodge all the bull sharks.

Get yourself involved,

Don’t be an out of towner,

Down Kangaroo Point Beach,

‘Where the water’s browner!’

*Seriously don't swim. If you have to, go to South Bank for swimming, it might be full of little kiddies ablutions, but they have chlorine for that. God knows what they'd need to make that stretch of the Brisbane River swimmable. Bull sharks would be the least of your worries in that slop.

**Worth fuckall. If do you catch anything, don't even give it the Rex Hunt treatment (certainly don't eat it). Do yourself a favour, and just toss it back.